Things you didn't know about the bystander, the bully and the victim

Things you didn’t know about the bystander,

the bully and the victim

You may think you know everything there is to know about the bystander, the bully and the victim. But do you know why the bully bullies the victim? Do you know why the bystander sometimes won’t do anything, even though they have the most power in a bullying situation? Do you know why the victim doesn’t tell an adult? No? Well read on and you will know.

Victim

Sometimes, a victim won’t tell an adult because the victim might think the bullying was their fault, because the victim was physically teasing or annoying the bully by either tapping, calling them a funny nickname or just annoying the bully in a way that the the bully may actually physically HURT the victim. Victims should know this is wrong and if the bully does physically hurt the victim (bite, kick, punch, push etc.) the victim should tell an adult ESPECIALLY when there is evidence. Other reasons could be:

a) The victim doesn’t realize that the bully is bullying them because they may not know all the things someone does that is labeled as bullying

b) The victim might feel embarrassed or ashamed at being bullied

c) The victim thinks that if they tell an adult the bully will take revenge and bully them again possibly in a harsher way

d) Sometimes the bully may be part of the “popular” group and the victim thinks that if they want to become popular and friends with  them they have to accept a bit of bullying

e) The victim may get into trouble alot and think that no one will believe them if they tell an adult

f) The victim might think that if they tell an adult people will call them a tattletale

g) Victims can be aware of the things that they are not good at and feel like they deserve to be bullied

h) Victims can assume adults expect them to work their problems out themselves and to deal with the bullying themselves, they can get worried that adults will be annoyed about them telling what has happened and say they are complaining

i) If the situation is to do with cyberbullying a victim will fear that if they tell an adult about what has happened they think the adult will take away their access to the internet, and make them feel a bit isolated from their friends.

Bully

Usually a bully usually bullies someone because they are a victim themselves in a different situation. They might have a social problem at home, or school or they could have been previously bullied or were being being bullied at the time. Bullies aren’t really all bad but with a bit of questioning or comforting they can be really nice! When a bully bullies someone most of the time they will bully someone who:

a) The bullies target may have a talent that they get praised for alot

b) The target may learn quickly and finish projects faster than most people

c) The target may lack something like self-esteem therefore making them vulnerable to bullying

d) The target may have no or very few friends and usually spend lunch and snack alone

e) The target may be popular and well known so the bully will bullie them because they think it will make them more popular

f) The target may be tall, short etc.

g) In some cases the target is bullied for a cultural belief

h) The bully could bully someone for racist reasons making the bully a racist bully  

i) The target could have a mental or physical disability

Bystander

Bystanders sometime won't tell because they are scared. Some feel that they can’t do anything to change the situation, they may also think they will fall victim to the bully because they got the bully in trouble.

a) Someone else will do something eg. teacher, or student

b) If they do something they think they will be bullied

c) The bully is the bystanders friend

d) The bystander isn’t really friends with the bully

e) The bystander feels embarrassed to stand out and do something

f) The bystander doesn’t know what to do about it

But remember, bullying is wrong!